Why do we think about the most random things when were dropping off some kids at the pool (that’s taking a dump in street slang.) So I was going over my virgin past and found not so good stuff, yes there was a lil illegal activity in my past. Some “pick me up days”. But I must say I’m pretty proud cause at least I can say there was no prostitution going on. I’m sure my daddy would be proud. Heck I’m every fathers dream, let me tell you gals you’ll win major brownie points if your father knows your still a virgin at 28…my gosh that’s sad.

Ok so back to my bathroom thoughts. I’m thinking if I were to die tomorrow and I had to answer to you know, him up there. I figure I’m pretty much in. So he would ask; “It looks like you were being a little bad, I think you might have to spend some time with Lucifer” and I would say “yeah but if you read the fine print it says that I’m THE VIRGIN” and of course I would say it like I’m the only virgin left cause most likely I am. And he would say “bless you my child move to the right”. I figure I can go rob some banks, party like the Studio 54 days maybe a lil trip to Amsterdam here and there. Because it looks like I have the golden ticket baby!!!

By the way I read somewhere that if you sit on a toilet seat for too long you can get hemorrhoids or something so I advise you to keep your thinking and reading in there short.